My Mental Illness Story

So this year has been really tough for me but now that I have a better handle on things I feel that it’s important to talk about. I began my school year with chronic stomach aches and nausea and had no idea what was happening. This went on for approximately a month before I really believed there was a problem. The sickness would get especially worse before any social outing. I shared my concern with my mom who told me it was likely anxiety, which she has as well. I didn’t necessarily know what this meant for me, if it would go away or how to deal with it. I began weekly therapy sessions, which were helpful but my anxiety was escalating so quickly that it wasn’t enough. I began to have difficulty going to my classes, first only the large ones but eventually found it hard to leave my bedroom. I couldn’t sleep and felt horribly alone and depressed despite my wonderful support system. I felt literally empty, as if my skeleton was no longer home to my vital organs and I was missing part of myself. I was at a point where therapy didn’t suffice so I sought out help from a doctor, who prescribed me anti-depressants to assist with my anxiety and the depression it was giving me.

I am sharing this to show that mental illness does not define a person, and seeking assistance is nothing to be ashamed of. Often mental illnesses are misunderstood and take far too lightly. There is also a serious stigma against mental illness that needs to be fixed immediately as so many people suffer in silence due to fear of being judged. My mental illness will always be apart of me and makes me the strong person I am today.

Ch- Ch- Changes…

So today I changed my hair, again. It made me think back to a point in time, only a few years ago when I would dread even a trim. I wanted this long beautiful hair, think Miley Cyrus circa 2010, and was ready to do just about anything for it. I tried dozens of homemade treatments, watched every YouTube video on tips to grow your hair and followed them all religiously. One day, just last summer, after years of trying to grow my hair and being disappointed with the way it looked, I decided to let it go. I realize now that not stressing about my hair was just one small step I made that made me happier with myself. Now I experiment and have fun with my hair and enjoy changing it up, which is so much more exciting than waiting for something that may never happen. Accepting yourself, even small parts of yourself that you may dislike help by increasing happiness overall. I feel like this can be applied to many flaws you may see in yourself and it is one of the most important things that I have learned in the self-love department. Nowadays you can change just about any part of yourself but that isn’t always an option, accepting your flaws as something that makes you who you are is the most important thing you can do for yourself.